What is it like to be literally any living being on the planet other than a human?
She hated feelings.She didn’t know how to deal with them,but is it really better to have feelings and not being able to really understand them ? What’s the point then ?
She made mistakes. A lot of mistakes.She constantly had this voice inside her head telling her that she isn’t good enough and that she never will be. That voice made her believe that there was no one on this planet that would really understand her and love her for herself.That voice ended up making her hate herself the more than anyone that ever would.Her escape from this tragic world was books,being able to create your own characters, leading the story any direction,being able to create the craziest and weirdest things-She liked it.
This girl…She did it all.She has dreams , aims , desire of being someone, loving someone, caring for someone,goals. It’s just that she made herself believe that no one loved her and being liked by people is something that really mattered to her.
She was sensitive and soft.
Today , On 1st January 2017, She understood.
She understood that it’s alright and that this voice that keeps playing in her head , re-telling her her own darkest fears should be ignored, That this voice is an exaggeration of every little possibly thing going on in her life.
She understood that all these years she got it all wrong.
Let those who want to love you , love you. There is nothing to force , nothing to prove. You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone , you just have to be you . You have to be the best version of you.
She finally called herself special and even if she didn’t seem special to everyone else , this year would change that because she will show the world her colours, she will reveal those wings and fly,She will project her feelings to the world that she was once so afraid of-afraid to show that she cared, afraid to show that she was scared, afraid to show that she was just a girl and a hug at that moment would make her the happiest person. She will show you that she is rare , raw and beautiful.
She isn’t afraid.She knows who she is , she understands herself, She is aware of her past, She is aware of her flaws. she accepts the fact that she is extremely clingy at times, She loves herself for the naive person that she happens to be and she loves the nice person that she can be to some people who don’t deserve it.
She is brave, She is fun , She is exciting, She is beautiful and she is rare and even if you don’t see that , It’s alright , the ones who do are the people that will matter to her and they will be the people she will thank the Lord for before bed and she will love them unconditionally.
2017 will be different. A good different.
Happy new year.
I hope y’ll have/had a great start to this year that y’ll deserve.